HAPPY BLOODY VALENTINE’S DAY!
There is nothing wrong with loving or making porn.
If you are a self-proclaimed sex positive feminist and has in the back of your head one or more of these ideas:
- I hope porn is successfully banned one day.
- Porn hates women.
- Women hate porn.
- People who watch porn are selfish.
- People who masturbate to porn need to go find a partner.
Turn around. Go to the mirror. Stare in it and tell yourself you have just crowned yourself the Ruler Hippo of all hypocrites. Anything you could possibly have against porn is the result of your own narrow-minded view of what sexuality should be.
Sexuality exists in a multitude of ways and each of which is valid as it provides satisfaction to the person who freely chose that form.
But… sex is supposed to be about love and emotional connections! It’s the most fulfilling way.
I have no doubt that you love copulating left and right in the missionary position with the one you love. And without *gasp* being married. It’s very wonderful. Great. Spoon away like soup.
But if there’s anything worth mentioning in this blog, it’s that not everyone in this entire world has the privilege of a partner as you would. Not everyone has the privilege of falling in love so easily as you and forming that emotional bond you sing night and day of. Not everyone has the time and energy to effectively nurture a relationship right now. It just isn’t happening for a while and maybe for an entire lifetime. Get that through your thick head right now.
And even if they did have the privilege there can simply be something more important than a relationship at this point in their life. Because maybe, just maybe they know they’re not ready for a relationship at this point because of their own emotional and mental state. Or that they’re just running around busy with whatever else is on their plate [Big neon sign towards writer of this blog].
And sex is not always an act of love. Consensual sex can be sought after for many other reasons. It can relieve stress. It can provide that brief moment of companionship when the nights become too lonely. It can just be fun. It can be for many reasons besides the hearts and daisies love one. Orgasms form masturbation can help you sleep and relieve headaches/menstrual cramps/other owies.
But you have to realize… that these people - and I know through fallacious evidence - don’t use protection! They’re irresponsible!
That’s slut shaming. So stop it. Even if people chose not to use protection, like most everything else, it is their own personal choice. Everything a person does with their own body is a fundamental choice. You not liking it does not take away that right to choose.
We can advocate education and give people the resources. But like pain medication for terminal patients, you can’t force people to take it if they flat out refuse.
But to make the association between sexually transmitted diseases - which happens to a lot more “moral” people than you like to think - and people who love porn and sex in general is slut shaming. You call a person irresponsible and other unflattering characteristics based on what you know of their sex life. Not everyone prefers what you decide good sex is.
Preferences in sex, along with food and color preferences, is a terrible judge of character. It has no bearing upon what their life goals, ambitions, and worldviews can be. Step out of your narrow view and see people for the other dimensions that comprise their personality.
But porn is just so trashy!
And I just might happen to think that making love slowly and tenderly is sweet enough to give me a cavity. For one it does take an awful lot of time.
If you’re a bigger fan of your sensual, often elitist erotica by all means. If you love getting it off to hardcore porn with James Deen, by all means. Get the hell out of people’s bedrooms right now.
The fundamental part of it all is that it’s consensual. That it’s an individual decision made independently given the knowledge of the situation and consequences.
What I find the most amusing about this whole thing is that porn is as close as it comes to what people really fantasize about in their sinful Freudian subconscious. And yes, “people” pertains to women too.
