Haven’t thought about this in a while.
Anyways, I always think that if I needed an abortion, I’d probably react to it the same way my mother did.
Make the appointment, climb into my car, drive myself up there, have the procedure, drive myself home, take care of the physical pain, etc. And when that’s done, carry on with life as God and history intended.
I don’t think I’d cry about it, agonize about it, or ever really think about it other than wondering from time to time along the lines of “well what if I decided to be a parent then…?”; in the same attitude I wonder about how my life might have been any different had I decided to go to a college closer to home.
I probably would have “talked” to the partner about it (if I had one), or pretended to, with my mind already made up. Then, like my mother, decide the abortion shouldn’t make the relationship itself a deal breaker (too many stories like that floating around -__-x).
But that’s why I never liked the “worst day of their life” rhetoric. For some and for many, it has been and will be (never imagining they’d make such a decision, having to jump through so many hoops and being harassed at the clinic) difficult, but there are people who have made far more difficult decisions; like deciding whether it was worth it all this time to follow someone and leave an entire country behind.
“Abortion is often framed as a mercy bestowed upon a woman who has committed the “crime” of having had sex. Mercy is something that someone else grants you, however, and not something you can simply decide for yourself that you deserve. That’s what people are stabbing at when they say they don’t want women to use abortion “as birth control.” The fear is that a woman might get an abortion without feeling remorseful or may, gasp, even feel like she’s entitled to it without having to apologize or grovel. Basically, people are uneasy with leaving the decision of whether or not an abortion is deserved to the woman seeking it herself. What a lot of people in the gray area between pro- and anti-choice want is for women to have to justify themselves in order to get abortions, even if it’s something as simple as making women feel ashamed of themselves for what they supposedly did wrong.
The problem with that, beyond the inherent sexism of it, is that there’s no real legal way to make women justify themselves, besides maybe making them sign a piece of paper that says, “I’m sorry I was a naughty girl who had sex. Can I please have my abortion now?” Roe v Wade sets things like time limits and Planned Parenthood v Casey says that there can be no “undue burden” to access, but the court decisions that shape abortion law don’t speak to “good” vs. “bad” reasons to have abortions, and for good reason. Abortion is medical treatment. It goes against basic medical ethics to require a patient to argue their moral worth before they are permitted access to health care they require.”
Every Reason for an Abortion Is a Good Reason (via brute-reason)
Here’s where I have a problem with some of the rhetoric in the reproductive justice movement: that it’s always “the worst day of her life.” It’s clear that the rhetoric is used predominantly to garner sympathy and understanding for the victims of injustice; make those morons think twice about what their position could actually mean to people in the system.
But yeah well, there’s still problems with that.
Major issue with gendered language for one. Then there’s a can of worms opened that makes it so that for it to be “valid,” abortion has to be traumatic emotionally as well as financially.
While they are more than valid reasons: having children at home already, abusive/unstable relationships, health of the pregnant person, rape/incest; simply not wanting children now or ever is still a reason.
A person in a healthy relationship with some degree of financial stability; and some capacity to take care of a child should still not be pressured into carrying the pregnancy to term.
A person who has already had twenty abortions prior to this one should still not be pressured into carrying the pregnancy to term.
Neither should they be judged on the basis of their mental or emotional health or made to feel as if they deserved the abortion any less than the one who needed it for any of the “nobler” reasons listed above.
For the last time, what you believe and want to do is not our fucking problem or business. Likewise, what we want to fucking do is none of your concern.
You are entitled to make whatever decision you fucking want with your body.
And if you’re a cis dude, you should really just stop talking because anything you say is likely to make you sound like an idiot, a privileged prick, an insensitive asshole, or all of the above.
We’ve told you time and time again what your very bullshit and very ignorant “devil’s advocate” sounds like. It makes you sound cruel and fucking inhumane. If you get in a car, you’re consenting to getting into an accident. Your logic, not ours. We are not obligated to give you any medical treatment if we feel you don’t deserve it. The doctor/nurses/healthcare professionals should have every right to look at your shitface self and decide you’re not worth saving; you’re not worth half the air you breathe; that we’d all be better off without your sorry ass.
But that is “different.” Because we’re now talking about you and your right to your fucking body. How fucking selfish.
You wouldn’t want to be aborted. But you also wouldn’t want the person who gave birth to you to have a choice. You’re saying that they should be held completely against their will to endure a very traumatic ailment called pregnancy and childbirth.
But they had sex and should face the consequences. It was a choice they made. And we go back to the car accident scenario.
Or guns. The doctor who attended to you didn’t believe in your “right to bear arms.” So when she sees your sorry shot ass she should have every right to decide you’re not worth the time, energy and resources. You should just fucking die.
Let’s just be clear here.
Whatever argument you, a “pro-life activist,” decide to make isn’t going to make any sense. Fetal pain isn’t real. Your pictures are mass, exaggerated, scare tactic propaganda that anybody who hasn’t completed medical school (or even a basic level biology class for that matter) will be able to tell you is false information. Abortion in safe medical conditions is not going to take away your capacity to have children later down the road. We are not going to die out from several people deciding not to reproduce. The bible doesn’t even say anything about abortion. And when we win (which will happen eventually), you’re still going to be able to have all the babies you want.
It’s not a debate really. Because if it was, then no one, especially these losers, should be able to have this much fucking capacity to cause pain.
“abortion is selfish”
“you shouldnt get an abortion because some couples cant have-“
“if your pregnant after rape you should see the positive side of-“
“even if you cant afford a child theres always a way to make it work-“
“consider it a blessing and-“
“your baby inside you loves you and you should-“
“if the husband still wants the baby the woman should go ahead and-“
“if you didnt want to be pregnant than why did you have sex-“
Reminder: "Abortionists" are doctors. They are OBGYN’s.
And in some cases family practice/primary care doctors. Albeit not as common as our wonderful legislation would prevent these qualified healthcare professionals from being “qualified” enough to do the job.
Rape is just a “method of conception,” relegating women to the means of conception, instead of, you know, people whose experiences, hopes, and fears actually matter…
Fundamentally, the debate over abortion is a debate over what we make of the fact that some of us in this world can have babies. For pro-choicers, “being able to make babies” is a nifty thing to be able to do, like being able to play the piano or being able to bake pies. It’s your skill, your ability. You should use it how you like…
For anti-choicers, the fact that someone can make a baby means that making babies is what she is for. People mistake the term “objectification” to mean “looking at with lust,” but what it actually means is “reducing someone to an object to be used.” Sexual objectification is assuming that because women turn you on, they are for sex, instead of a person whose sexuality should be an expression of their agency. What anti-choicers engage in is reproductive objectification. Women are among an array of objects to be used. The refrigerator is for storing food. The bookshelf is for holding books. The woman is for making babies. You no more give her a choice in the matter than you would give your refrigerator veto power over what food it hold because it didn’t like your method of shopping.”